Sunday, October 14, 2007

I'd Tap That Fictional Ass!-Jamie Madrox/Multiple Man

His deal...
Kinetic energy causes Jamie Madox to make duplicates (AKA: Dupes) of himself. He also runs a private detective agency called X-Factor Investigations which employs some of his mutant friends.

The Positives
• He’s funny. He’s always cracking jokes usually at the expense of someone in the room. And what can I say? That is totally my kind of humor.
• He’s in therapy and men who go all emo are always hotter (Which is why Batman will always be the hottest DCer)
• All his dupes have their own personalities so that could prove to be difficult but at least never boring (see: Michael Keaton in Multiplicity).

He’s a small business owner
• So what did Jamie do after winning a load of cash on a game show? He used the money to expand his own mutant private detective agency, X-Factor Investigations, making him like the Angel of the Marvel verse. So yay to building equity!!!

• Since kinetic energy causes him to duplicate I’m guessing any heavy petting will lead to an orgy. Plus ‘Big Love’ has made polygamy mainstream so why not go niche and engage in some polyandry with some hot mutants??? And his name is Multiple Man. So get your head in the gutter and come up with your own conclusions. Ergo the best superhero name ever.

Style Profile
• That shirt he’s always sportin’ is just plain hot. I mean I can totally see him holed up in his NYC loft silk-screening the imprint of a six pack of Pabst onto a fine jersey long sleeve olive green American Apparel t-shirt. He just come across to me like a hipster mutant. That’s all I’m saying.
• Not to mention he rocks the Maybelline Unstoppable Eyeliner in Onyx. Eyeliner always helps when you want to look all emotionally torn & sh*t (see: Michael Keaton’s Batman or George Clooney in Michael Clayton).

The Negatives
• So he (or one of his dupes) may become a baby daddy as the result of his one night stand with Monet or Siyn. Oh how some WBesque inter-office romance drama makes all things better! Note- One of these romances could lead to a new hope for mutants. So really we could move this part to the positive column.
• Eric Dane played him in X3. I like him better when he’s all beary as McSteamy. But I'm not going to burden you with my issues.

Jamie’s going to play a large part in the upcoming Messiah Complex. Which means now Marvel is going to take even more of my money. Oh well.

BTW: Huge props have to be given to X-Factor artist Pablo Raimondi for drawing the hottest characters around. I mean really, he made Cyclops AND The Beast look hot (Issue #23). (Oops, there I go with my bear love again!)

The Casting Couch (Retcon-ing Eric Dane out of the picture):

Jesse Bradford would make an awesome Jamie Madrox. He’s in the right age range and more importantly he’s got the key characteristics: funny, smart, hot, & self-deprecating. I mean really the man was in Swim Fan, so obviously he knows how to laugh at himself.

But I would also die to see multiple Adam Garcias. I'm not sure if he's enough of a larrikin to pull of the funny but I haven't seen Coyote Ugly in a while, so maybe I'm wrong. But he's definitely smokin' hot and he played Fiyero in the London production of Wicked which (punny!) gets him major points in my book. Did I mention he's Aussie & hot???

New Feature of ITTFA: Theme Song-Kylie Minogue's Come Into My World
This has to do nothing with the song and everything to do with the Michel Gondry-directed video depicting Kylie doing her best impression of the Multiple Man. Enjoy!

1 comment:

Brett said...

Sexiest mutant out there. Oh, for a few hours alone with that man...and his dupes.