Thursday, November 8, 2007

I'd Tap That Fictional Ass!-The Lone Ranger/John Reid

The Lone Ranger-John Reid
1. He’s a Texas Ranger
• I’ve been socialized to believe that all Texas Rangers are insanely hot. In 90% of romance novels revolving around anything remotely Texan, there’s always a character who’s an insanely hot Texas Ranger (usually a widow with a rambunctious toddler-not that I read a lot of those books or anything) .

2.His Iconic Outfit
• The man knows how to accessorize! His white cowboy hat matches perfectly with his four legged companion Silver. Also he never goes anywhere without his bandanna and cowboy boots. The domino mask that he uses to conceal his identity is also a fantastic way to protect John’s delicate eye area from the unforgiving Texas sun. Sun damage is a) Bad for your health & b)Leads to unsexy crows’ feet!
• The costume is a symbol of Texas with its use of the flag's colors and its no-frills pragmatic simplicity. It's so ingrained in Texan culture that every high school/college dance team in Texas dresses in a femme version of the Ranger uniform.3. He has his own creed
• While those morally ambiguous anti-heroes are hot as hell (see: Batman, Han Solo, et al.) a guy who wears his moral code on his sleeve and actually lives it (albeit fictionally) is even sweller.

4. He has a cool ride
• Silver has to have way better handling than a Ford Mustang. Plus it’s way more environmentally friendly than a Prius!
5. He has his own theme music
• I triple dog dare you to not think of Rossini’s William Tell Overture when reading The Lone Ranger. See! Impossible!
6. He’s drawn by John Cassaday
• Since I'm Texan (I hope you got that if you've read this far), I'm loving that a Texan is art directing & doing covers for the origin story of a Texas icon. Plus anything Cassaday=awesomely fantastic.

The Casting Couch
• Mmm this is a tough one. He needs to be Texan. And he needs to not look ridiculous in a domino.
• I’m going to go with Benjamin McKenzie. (If you've got a better candidate, comment!!!)
• Texan-Check!
• Looks good in a domino-Check! (I'm guessing since he’s got a very strong jaw-much like the Cassaday incarnation)
• I’m going to give him major points for doing Junebug instead of something like John Tucker Must Die. Plus season 1 of the OC was brilliant! Don’t let anybody convince you otherwise.
Big Bad Bonus-I would love to see Matthew McConaughey play baddie Cavendish since he’s so quintessentially Texan (See: Stetson Ads). And I'd just love to see him play a baddie for once.

So if you haven’t checked out Brett Matthews, John Cassaday, & Sergio Cariello’s The Lone Ranger series from Dynamite do yourself a HUGE favor and pick it up like now!

1 comment:

Manuel B said...

You and them Texans...
I approve.