My Christmas Gift to You!

I have sacrificed myself to the movie gods to bring you this edition of
For Better and For Worse...

You would think that a movie with Hugh Jackman and Ewan McGregor would be the best thing ever. But OMG I have no idea who thought this movie would be a good idea except for maybe the person in charge of late-night basic cable programming. I'm pretty sure they could have made a better (=watchable) movie by adapting a Star Wars/X-Men Crossover FanFic. It even would have been legally tidy since FOX holds all the properties! God, FOX totally needs me. So here goes (literally) nothing...

[DECEPTION]

Early 90s erotic suspense derivative. Biggest waste of Baz Luhrmann's leading men. Should have been Direct-to-Video or Lifetime. Maggie Q. Only 1 (short) Hugh shirtless scene.

[IS BETTER THAN]

(or Viva Laughlin)

JUST SAY NO TO Ashley Judd W/O Morgan Freeman!
(or ironically w/o Hugh)

[BUT WORSE THAN]

Staring at Ewan's Davidoff Adventure Ad...for 2 hours
AND/OR
Hugh's Introduction to America via the Cage Scene in X-Men on loop...for 2 hours

Seeing is believing.

'Australia' For Better and For Worse- a review

I really can't stand the vast majority of reviews being written by the big boys & girls of print. It's like they're all trying to out-do themselves in being completely and utterly irrelevant. Apparently they all need to post a sign by their typewriters that says-"You're not going to win a Pulitzer for writing a 3000-word scathing review highlighting the historical inaccuracies of Gladiator." They've apparently forgotten that the most fundamental part of a movie is that it be entertaining. 'Entertaining' just so happens to be the opposite of mind (and butt) numbing boredom. Who would have known?!

Exhibit A: Melinda & Melinda. I never fall asleep in movies yet I managed to mimic a corpse during that Woody Allen 'gem' (Which I believe is the last movie he actually directed. Say it with me-GHOST DIRECTORS!)

Exhibit B: (and the inspiration for my new movie review format) SAVED. The movie about teen pregnancy that came before JUNO and that didn't premiere on Lifetime. The universe still owes Mandy Moore a Golden Globe or SAG nom for her diabolically pious performance as Hilary Faye. Unlike Juno, Saved didn't need a self-aware 'indie' soundtrack or quirkily sardonic teenspeak. It just rocked.

All this ranting has led to my new movie reviewing format.
So here's the gist: I pick a movie that is better and a movie that is worse than the one I'm reviewing. It's like 3 movie reviews in less than 50 words. Damn efficent right?

STAR! CROSSED! LOVERS!

[AUSTRALIA]

Aussies being Aussies. Hugh being Riddikulus. David Wenham being Hot Big Bad Ginger. Nicole being Nicole. Billabong. Nostalgically Engaging Epic.

[IS BETTER THAN...]

Children who suck. Dreamy Emerald Dress. Vanity tracking shot. Annoying Pome Children. James getting shafted. Sexy Library. Typewriter. Pretentiously laborious.

[BUT WORSE THAN...]

Effing! Brilliant! Musical! Boho Ewan McGregor. Drop Dead Costumes. Kylie Minogue. Infinitely Re-watchable.

The one where Wolverine visits a Spa

Hugh Jackman naked in a jacuzzi.
And Liev getting physical.
It's like they hacked my brain.
Oh and did I mention Danny Huston?

In Sequential Style-SDCC 2008

While a lot of people like to focus on the Cosplay going on at SDCC (not that I don't love a good Wolverine or Indy) I like to pull a Joan Rivers and judge people's "normal" clothing. Let's see who the big winners are!

BEST IN SHOW: Ray Stevenson [Photo:EW]
Ray seriously brought his A Game from jolly ol' England! I think what really made Ray the cream of the con was that, at least for me, it was totally unexpected. I'm so used to seeing him only as sweaty & dirty Pullo that I was (good) shocked. The man cleans up very nicely.

BEST HAIR: Hugh Jackman [P:EW]
He's seriously ridonculous. But I do have a notorious weakness for the Wolvarine do'.






BEST PSEUDO-COSPLAY: Gerard Way [P:EW]
2008 Eisner winner Gerard Way looks ready and set to re-join The Umbrella Academy (which, thank god, is coming back in November!).







BEST SPIRIT OF COMIC-CON: Rose McGowan [P:EW]
She's wearing a dress that looks like she looted Tinker-Bell's closet yet somehow she makes it work. Rose continues to astonish.



BEST GEEK CHIC: Edgar Wright [P:EW]
As a Spaced-junkie I can actually say that Edgar Wright can do no wrong. Here he's wearing two fanboy staples- a comic tee & jeans but he pulled his look together with a simple cut jacket. The jacket's clean lines really serve to streamline the whole outfit. Yes, I said "outfit". Nerds take notes.




HALL OF FAME: Grant Morrison [P:Newsrama]
Sequential smart suits. 24/7. Perfect.

A Marvelous Summer of Singlets!

Ed Norton knows that to be a true Marvel hero he's got to look good in a singlet.
While The Hulk is one hot steroid tranny mess Bruce Banner is quite easy on the eyes.


Robbie D had a cornucopia of singlet action going on in Iron Man.

I mean seriously I actually pulled out a pen and notepad to keep track. Is it a coincidence that the movie was excellent? Um I doin't think so.

And the original Marvel movie singlet- Hugh Jackman as Logan in X-Men.
Ladies and Gents this is as good as it gets.

Oh Sh*t I can't Wait to See This!-Baz's Australia

Pop Culture Case Study Part 3: Hugh Jackman

Part 3 of my Pop Culture Case Study on how the best movie superheroes are also great singers/dancers.

Hugh Jackman:Wolverine/Logan

The man is the epitome of all that is song and dance. After earning a BA in journalism, he headed west to attend the Western Academy of Performing Arts of Edith Cowan University in Perth, WA.

In Sydney, he played Gaston in Beauty & the Beast & Joe Gillis in Sunset Boulevard. Later on the West End, he played the role of Curly in a hugely successful revival of Rogers & Hammerstein's Oklahoma. In 2004 he made his Broadway debut in The Boy from Oz which won him a Tony. Oh and he won an Emmy for hosting the Tonys where he won a Tony. Damn he's good! Let's see how he fares as one of my favorite comic book characters-Wolverine.

Thank the gods that the casting directors of X-Men were aware that while Wolverine is awesome and all, America would just not see a movie about a 5’3’’ hairy Canadian. Enter Hugh. A foot taller and Australian. Both qualities making him exponentially hotter. SNIKT!!!

Even Bryan Singer knew America should bask in his hotness. So he did what any self respecting director would do and introduced Logan in a cage, shirtless, sweaty, and in tight jeans (Manuel insert queer theory here). God Bless You, Bryan! [Note: One of the hottest costumes at Comic-Con this year was a Hugh Jackman inspired-Logan. If you're reading this guy sorry we followed you around the floor! But you looked great in the wife-beater.]

Subsequently, I can’t wait for X-Men Origins: Wolverine in 2009.
Especially if those rumors about Liev Schreiber playing young Stryker are true. Yay for a (much needed) Kate & Leopold reunion! (All hail The Secret!) If only they could secure Breckin Meyer to play a young Sabretooth all my dreams would be realized.

[Oh and if you haven't seen Christopher Nolan's The Prestige with Hugh Jackman and (fellow song and dance superhero) Christian Bale do yourself a huge favor and see it/buy it/gild it. Same goes for The Fountain & its score.]